Being Jewish, I can't honestly say I've ever fully grasped the Christmas spirit. However, growing up in America I have always defined it with several key points:
1. Time off from work/school
2. A temporary change of surroundings. Holiday decorations in public, Christmas songs on the radio. A very Pagan thing overall, but still a nice change of scenery.
3. An uplifting spirit from those around me. People really get into this and begin to radiate. It's usually a positive thing.
This year things are different. It's every man for himself. Eat or be eaten. Don't get me wrong. I support parents that want to provide a happy holiday for their family. But can they loose the tunnel vision? My experience with this holiday may be somewhat limited. However, if someone told me that the meaning of Christmas was to rush down to Wal-Mart at 4am and join a stampede of lowlifes to max out the credit card and dip into the emergency savings so that the kids can get the X-Box and Hannah Montana DVD they whined over it would really make me question who was in control. Does Norman Rockwell have something to do with this? Is it that false hope of the perfect Christmas that drives people to such madness? Whatever it is, it's bullshit.
You want to provide a real Christmas? Teach your kids what's really important in life. To quote the great Suzie Orman, "People first. Then money. Then things." Open up to your kids. Explain that Christmas is important, but so are the other 364 days of the year. Tell them they don't need Abercrombie clothes to enjoy the holiday, but they do need groceries to be bought and rent or mortgage payments to be made to enjoy eating and staying warm. Sure they probably won't understand right away. But it's a lesson they can take into adulthood. Teach them that Christmas is not defined by the latest toy or the trendiest fashion but by the company they're with. Slow down. Appreciate the simpler things that life has to offer.
Yesterday these values seemed to completely go out the window. Instead of an uplifting spirit, we got this: Wal-Mart Employee Trampled to Death. And this: 2 gunmen kill each other in shootout at Toys R Us in Palm Desert. Some say it's the current decline of the economy which lead to this behavior. In fact it's this behavior that lead to the economic hardships we see today.
Entitlement. I'd say I was sick of hearing this word if it wasn't for the fact that it's still true. "I'll take what I feel is rightfully mine even if someone else has to pay for it." This is the tragic mantra that seems to carry on even into the holiday season. We used to have a logical set if values in this country. Money doesn't grow on trees. You buy things only if you can afford them. And most importantly: You are the number one factor in your success or failure. These important facts of life seem to have been pushed back far enough where they have about as much influence as a locked door yesterday morning.
What happened yesterday in New York and LA were beyond tragic. They were an embarrassment. They are the types of stories I thought could only come from a third world country where marshall law had been imposed. I'd almost be ok with the situation in LA if it wasn't for the fact that it led to two fatherless families. But the Wal-Mart worker trampled to death is just insane. What's next year going to be like? Metal detectors and wristbands to facilitate our holiday shopping? How much babysitting do we need?
One could argue it's the retailers fault for using a false sense of urgency to lure people into mall madness. Except it's not. This isn't the first time violent situations have erupted on black Friday. And it certainly won't be the last. I sincerely hope there's a thorough analysis of Wal-Mart's security tapes and that everyone who walked by that victim until medical help arrived is prosecuted for manslaughter. Perhaps then we can be a little more sensible with regards to our conduct in public. Until then, all I can do is write.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Come Fry The Friendly Skies
In the years since 9/11, air travel has changed quite a bit.
When passing through security, we’ve surrendered the following:
Knitting needles
Pocket knives
Box cutters
Liquids (ahh how I miss byob)
Toothpaste
Shaving cream
The shoe bomber pretty much ensured anyone wearing knee high boots will spend no less than ½ hour passing through security. Think flip flops are the way to go? TSA wouldn’t be that ridiculous you say? Hope you don’t mind Purelling your feet outside the gate.
Did you sell a kidney to fly first class? Enjoy your plastic steak knife.
So where do we go from here? Sure we have an obligation to keep our skies safe and ensure our aircraft are not used as weapons of mass destruction. But can someone tell me how a tube of Aquafresh can bring down a 747?
So what’s next? The pin on your belt buckle might poke someone. All belts are to be checked. Paper can be acidic. No more reading. That’s ok, the people I fly with are such fun to talk to. Clothing can be shredded to rope and used to strangle.
Welcome to the air travel of the next decade. There will be no carry-on. You will check all items which will fly in a special cargo plane, sometimes actually arriving at your destination the same time as you! You will be strip searched, pass through a full body x-ray machine and issued special TSA passenger gowns. When entering the jetway, a sedative will be issued, it’s strength depending on the duration of the flight. By the time you’re seated, you’ll be out cold.
Airlines will welcome this. They’ll get to charge all sorts of new fees like drool-wiping and adult-diaper disposal. And the few frills left like stale coffee and preservative loaded muffins can be dropped completely!
Upon arriving at your destination, those who have not regained consciousness will be cattle prodded (for $3 a prod), taken by wheelchair if needed ($35 per half hour) and hit what feels like a casino to see if they’re lucky enough to receive their luggage.
So I tip my hat to you Bin Laden. Although your well coordinated attack was not nearly as destructive as you may have hoped, you’ve achieved the spreading of your insanity into our commercial airlines. Someday I’ll be able to tell my grandkids of the days when you didn’t need to be an “expert” to clear security in less than an hour. And Boy Scout trinkets weren’t elevated to the risk of biological warfare.
When passing through security, we’ve surrendered the following:
Knitting needles
Pocket knives
Box cutters
Liquids (ahh how I miss byob)
Toothpaste
Shaving cream
The shoe bomber pretty much ensured anyone wearing knee high boots will spend no less than ½ hour passing through security. Think flip flops are the way to go? TSA wouldn’t be that ridiculous you say? Hope you don’t mind Purelling your feet outside the gate.
Did you sell a kidney to fly first class? Enjoy your plastic steak knife.
So where do we go from here? Sure we have an obligation to keep our skies safe and ensure our aircraft are not used as weapons of mass destruction. But can someone tell me how a tube of Aquafresh can bring down a 747?
So what’s next? The pin on your belt buckle might poke someone. All belts are to be checked. Paper can be acidic. No more reading. That’s ok, the people I fly with are such fun to talk to. Clothing can be shredded to rope and used to strangle.
Welcome to the air travel of the next decade. There will be no carry-on. You will check all items which will fly in a special cargo plane, sometimes actually arriving at your destination the same time as you! You will be strip searched, pass through a full body x-ray machine and issued special TSA passenger gowns. When entering the jetway, a sedative will be issued, it’s strength depending on the duration of the flight. By the time you’re seated, you’ll be out cold.
Airlines will welcome this. They’ll get to charge all sorts of new fees like drool-wiping and adult-diaper disposal. And the few frills left like stale coffee and preservative loaded muffins can be dropped completely!
Upon arriving at your destination, those who have not regained consciousness will be cattle prodded (for $3 a prod), taken by wheelchair if needed ($35 per half hour) and hit what feels like a casino to see if they’re lucky enough to receive their luggage.
So I tip my hat to you Bin Laden. Although your well coordinated attack was not nearly as destructive as you may have hoped, you’ve achieved the spreading of your insanity into our commercial airlines. Someday I’ll be able to tell my grandkids of the days when you didn’t need to be an “expert” to clear security in less than an hour. And Boy Scout trinkets weren’t elevated to the risk of biological warfare.
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